Posted by: jasgreen | June 20, 2009

19 days and counting

I’m finally into the teen number now on my count down towards rejuvenation. I like that word, rejuvenation. For me, it is about being renewed. As each day ticks down toward surgery, I can feel a little more confident in myself.

I go see the doctor on Monday for my last Testosterone shot and to make appointments to see the OB/GYN and Urologist next month for follow up care.

Speaking of Testosterone, I haven’t experienced any of the negative side effects that I was expecting. The major side effect that I have is sexual arousal is constant sometimes more than I can handle. I now know why men are the way they are in the sex department. Since I have PAIS, I guess this was something that I was lucky enough to avoid.  The feeling last about 2 weeks and start to go away after that. I’ve studied the effects of T on the body and what I’m feeling is what most everyone on T says they feel.

Aside from that, school starts the day before I fly out to Fla, July 7th. I’m looking forward to school starting back up. I don’t have to order books because they are provided for me since I’m taking the online course.

I’m debating with myself right now rather I should start dating or hold off until after my surgery and given myself at least 6 months to heal and discover my anatomy again. As a Health Science graduate, I know that a lot of girls rush back into work, relationships and sexual behavior while not giving themselves the time they need to heal and discover the hidden mysteries.  I made a vow to myself that I was going to take at least 6 months before venturing out into the world.

I discovered female orgasm today. No, I didn’t have one of my own. But, I’m very naive when it comes to female arousal and sexual feeling. Thanks to some education video’s, I’ve learned what to expect in the first 6 months to a year post operative. I’m already trying to pick toys to play with but I keep telling myself that it’s way to early to be thinking like that.

My dilators arrived in the mail and I can now see why so many girls say the biggest one is the most feared. Yet, I don’t feel the fear they had. I am anticipating the day when I can use the biggest one. Note, these are not dildo’s or vibrators. Those kind of toys will come later in my life. The biggest dilator I anticipate simply because I know when I can handle that big monster, I’m ready for the real thing then.

Finally, I would like to someday write about my experience of healing and sexual ripeness simply because there aren’t a lot of girls that talk about these issues. During my search for information, I had to rely upon the little bit of information that was out there or talk with other girls that had the surgery which they did not want to discuss so openly. For instance, most girls during the healing stage have trouble with urine stream direction. Yet few girls write how to handle such a situation. When I asked one girl to tell me what to do, she offered me hardly any information before she switched the subject to something else. Not wanting to press the issue, I never returned to the topic and have had to settle for what little advice I have. So stay tuned to my blog. This is a survivors account and I would like for other girls that are going through the experience to be able to have some information to rely upon as they make take their journey towards rejuvenation.

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