Posted by: jasgreen | July 1, 2009

Boy/Girl vs. Male/Female

Once again as I surf the world wide Internet, I come across sites in which there are those who like to call themselves transsexual when in fact they are not transsexuals but cross-dressers and transvestites. I feel it is important for me to stress that there is a clear distinct difference between being a boy/girl or male/female. No, I’m not talking about she-male here.

When someone tells me that they are transsexual, I take it that they are in the process of or seeking to have SRS someday to help align their bodies with their female/male brains. Their brains are in fact female/male and their genitalia are in fact the opposite which causes a condition that we are fighting to get recognized as HBS. People with HBS never doubt that they are boy or girl. Nevertheless, people with HBS are almost always forced to be a boy or girl completely opposite of who they are based on rather or not they are male or female at birth.

Years ago, it was thought that people with HBS were psychopathic or simply just gay people in denial of their own sexuality.  Yet, then came along a doctor by the name of Harry Benjamin that made a point to distinguish this condition from a psychopathic condition in line with more of a medical condition. Dr. Benjamin  lacked current medical science that we have today. He did not know about the neurological and brain structures of transsexuals. Yet, he started a journey for us that would become the separation of our condition from those of the cross-dressers who like to wear women’s cloths for sexual arousal and the transvestites which I will not go into discussion here.

Nevertheless, there needs to be a clear definition which many HBS survivors are working on to establish that would make it very clear that we are not transgendered, cross-dressers or transvestites. One way to make this clear is listening to the words of those who are HBS survivors and sufferers.  An HBS woman or man will never tell you that they feel like a girl or boy stuck in a man or woman’s body. The reason behind this is very clear, we with (HBS) are not stuck in the wrong bodies. It’s not about our gender that we have the problem. Our condition is biological and we are girls and boys born with male and female genitalia. It is for this reason that surgery is mandatory for us. Without surgery, the result are drastic to our mental health and our physical health. If you are not sure about this, I ask that you visit the links and watch the videos I’ve posted to help you understand my point.

Second, we do not seek surgery for sexual reasons or to fit into ladies jeans or because we want men to love us as women/men. Again, I must stress that surgery is mandatory for our well-being. It is no different than finding out that someone was born with a heart condition that doesn’t show itself until adulthood, if surgery is the only cure, then a surgery must be performed to save that persons life.  Anyone that makes the claim that they are transsexual and yet love the fact they have what a normal girl and boy does not have cannot say that they are a true transsexual.

My list can go on and on but I think I’ve hit the major points that should help you understand the difference. When I read stories on the web about other girls, I have to read with a hint of caution because I never know until I’ve a little into their story if they are truly a person with HBS or just another person trying to say they are transsexual when in fact they are not.

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Responses

  1. Hello my name is eva but my parents name my javon iam 23 year of age. Every day I wake you wishing everything could be the way it is. I know iam a woman and no one can tell me iam not I have a penis but iam a women I don’t know where to turn to it really effect me with everyday life.. My parents really don’t understand they just see me as being gay an iam not I like men not women so iam not gay. I knew I was a women from the time I was born I see these story where the parents say they saw it in there child and I wonder why why my parents didn’t look at me more why they didn’t help there lil girl.. If there’s any information or someone I can talk to it would really mean a lot to me. Thank You

    • First let me start off by saying Hello and thank you for reading my blog. I have since stopped writing in my blog simply because I do not want to come off as being trans-phobic and my blog was mostly to chronicle my experiences with surgery.

      Second, I suggest that you contact a gender counselor because this is an issue which requires more than just a mere opinion.

      Third, I am not transgendered nor am I a transexual. I am a intersexed person who has AIS which is not the same as what you are going through and my opinion would only be just my opinion. However, rather you are TG or TS, I would suggest that you contact others who feel as you have felt and could offer you their opinion.

      Lastly, please also try to understand what your parents are experiencing during this period of transition. Basically, they are losing a son and gaining a daughter and they have been shocked into dealing with a situation that they may not fully understand and/or accept. This would be different if their were a biological reason for you to become a female/girl, not that they would accept it any more or less. However, you have to have a balance of understanding to get you through this situation. Don’t expect your parents to just embrace you and not deal with a loss. Just as you are hurting for them not accepting you, they are also hurting for what they did not know and understand. This is where counseling becomes a mandatory situation and if your going to live your life as a female, not just a woman with a penis, then you need to understand and prepare yourself for what lies ahead of you.


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