Posted by: jasgreen | July 5, 2009

Masturbation…..!!!!!! 5 day before surgery

This thread may not be suitable for anyone under the age of 18. Parental guidance is a must before proceeding to read this thread.

O.k., now that the warning has been posted, let me say that I feel this is important for me to talk about this because it is something that I just discovered recently and wish that I had discovered it many years ago.

Most HBS survivors and sufferers will admit that they have a deep discernment for that part of their anatomy. If you haven’t read my previous post, it would be beneficial for you to go back and read them so that you will have an understanding of what I’m about to say.

I just so happen to be one of a few HBS/PAIS women who hated that part of my anatomy so much that it caused so much emotional problems that had tragic results in the end. For the past 9 years, I’ve been asexual. The very thought of touching or bringing pleasure to that area is enough to make me so sick and tormented that if I wasn’t sure I’d bleed to death, I would cut it off myself and flush it down the toilet for no chance to have it put back on.

I’ve tried to be with men and women in my past. I can only think of one time I was with a girl and that was when I 18 years old and a girl on my job was so attracted to me that she lied to me to get me to her house. Once I arrived and discovered the reason why she lured me to her house, my curiosity led me to try to give up my virginity. I tried but never was successful. For one I was not attracted to females and I only wanted to feel and she what a vagina look liked. After that night, I went home knowing for sure that I wasn’t the least bit attracted to any female.

Males was an entire different experience for me. I became sexually active from a very young age. I was 5 years old when I encountered my first experience and I still hold the feeling in my mind to this day how I felt. I never was attracted to a male as a male. Anal sex was not something that I would learn to take pleasure in. For the most part, anal sex was something I did to make up for the lack of the proper anatomy. My sexual yearning with a male was never to be penetrated anally but vaginally. As if I was born with a vagina, I could feel the sensation in that area which is completely different than the feeling to be penetrated anally.

Because as I aged, I learned that the right spots weren’t being reach which left my partners very satisfied and me yearning to be fulfilled, sex became very additive to me from an early age. It didn’t help being introduced to sex from an early age either. By the time I was 17 years of age, sex was more of a way for me to feel complete rather than for pure relaxation and pleasure. I had grown to hate anal sex and I hated anyone to touch me in that area. Something had to be done.

Now, here is where I try to make a point for other HBS women out there that has not had their SRS yet. If you watch some porn, you will see that males and females masturbate in different concentrations. For instance, the male normally does not pay much attention to the glads but focus is on the shaft in combination to the glads of the penis. Since female basically have the same structure but much smaller, a female concentration is the glads and surrounding tissue. If you watch closely the techniques used is not the same. Most males aren’t really interested in focusing just on their glads of their penis. Some focus on deep, fast penetration. The deeper the better. The tighter the better. Females are completely opposite. Females aren’t interested  in grips, speed of strokes or how deep they can thrust.

Quite often, I’ve read and spoken with HBS women whom have had the surgery and they mention that it takes them so long to discover how to have a orgasm once they have had surgery. I’ve been told that those who are capable of having orgasm prior to surgery have a good likelihood that they will maintain to capability after surgery. But, how do you masturbate when you hate that part of yourself so much that you don’t want to even touch that part of your body nor have anyone else touch that part of your body?

I believe I have discovered the key. Instead of focusing on stroking the shaft in an up and down method as if you are thrusting in and out, focus more on just the glads. Make sure that you have enough lube so as not to cause any friction. If you notice, the penis will attend in an upward movement. I’ve only masturbated in a doggie style position a few times always as a way of curiosity to find out what it felt like. The same is for the face down method. I’ve only used fake penetrative devices a few time mostly when I was much younger, in my teens. For the most part, I’m on my back with my legs spread as if I have a partner on top and I’m in the missionary position. This allows that part of my body to fall back on the Mons area exposing the under side of the glands. I’m circumcised so I can’t speak for anyone that is not circumcised. By the way, I hate circumcised penises. I think this is barbaric to do to any child and the foreskin plays an important part in the male anatomy. Also I find the foreskin extremely erotic.

As I lay in position, my focus is on the glands and nothing more than just the glands. I use just the tip of my fingers or a vibrator to massage my glands completely ignoring the shaft. In the end, I have found my orgasm to be intense and long lasting. I also stay satisfied longer. No up and down thrusting method is used and I think that this will prepare most girls for when they have surgery to focus more on the glands rather than on the shaft. Since the shaft is removed during surgery and just enough of the glands remains, it is here that most girls mostly likely find the adjustment a difficult.

My surgery is only 5 days away. I’ve been working to prepare my body and my mind for the reworking of my anatomy. By learning to focus on my glands, I think this will give me a heads up. If you have any advice, you post a response, I most likely will not be able to respond until after I’ve had my surgery because the next few days are busy days for me. I just don’t have the time to write on my blog.

So, the next time you will see a change on my blog will be when I’m in the healing process after my surgery. I thank for reading and I will make a post after surgery. My blog will then go to a monthly update and then finally after a year post-op, I’ll make a final post at which time, I’m thinking of writing a book.


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